IF ASIAN WOMEN ARE WORLD-FAMOUS FOR HAVING "WHITE FEVER" AND HATING ASIAN MEN, WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THEY HAVE A SON WHO LOOKS ASIAN? WHAT HAPPENS WHEN ASIAN WOMEN SAY "NO ASIAN MEN," AND HALF ASIAN SONS HEAR THE SAME? I HAPPEN. THIS IS THE BLOG OF A DARTMOUTH EDUCATED EURASIAN SON OF A RACIST, NAZI-SYMPATHIZING, HOLOCAUST DENYING, HOMOPHOBIC CONSERVATIVE, UNDEREMPLOYED, CONSPIRACY THEORIST WHITE MAN AND A HONG KONG WOMAN WHO HAD "WHITE FEVER," DOCUMENTING THE IMMENSE DAMAGE AND ABUSE DONE OVER 20 YEARS OF LIVING UNDER ONE OF THE MOST HATEFUL, RACIST PAIRINGS ON EARTH.
Eurasian, with a racist, Holocaust denying, anti-social, anti-feminist, anti-black white dad, and a dead, manic depressive, racist Chinese mom, both of whom spent their entire lives fighting violently. Look Asian. Have faced discrimination for it. It's been my life goal since I was a child to expose the trend of racist white men and their Asian brides, and the danger their children will pose in an increasingly racist society.
The thing is, there will be some mentally damaged Asian in the comments saying that this individual looks white.
Part of the problem here is that Half-Asians become white when Asian sociopaths want them to be; and become Asian when we do something bad, like complain about racist white men fetishizing Asian women and vice versa.
The ultimate reality is that even if we don’t look fully Asian, Asian blood is seen as INFERIOR by the VAST MAJORITY of human beings. It’s a mockery. Even most Asian women that really, really hate Asian males hate Half-Asian males the same. We are essentially goaded from childhood to eschew (that means AVOID for any people who can’t speak English), our Asian side; and that leads to mental illness, because you can’t be healthy when one side is viewed as inferior by BOTH OF YOUR PARENTS. A child simply cannot be healthy when his parents utilize him as a weapon against others; a child cannot be healthy when his parents examine his features in the framework of white being better – which is exactly what these couples do. Their belief is set in stone that it is only WHITENESS that makes being Half-Asian better than full, regardless of what the white father looks like – and he is oftentimes unattractive.
Now imagine having your own mother being one of those women who casually gave into white men who humiliated men who look like you.
That’s essentially why the range of Hapa behavior – from over the top arrogance for no reason (despite there being millions of more successful mixed races of varying degrees), to a delusional Elliot-Rodger tier belief that they are white, to embracing white nationalism like Marcus Epstein or the ton of Hapas who go to Richard Spencer’s conferences – all point to the hatred of Asianness.
The reality here is that when mixing with Asians, ones entire bone structure is altered; it’s not like with other races where the bone structure remains relatively intact and features just change according to eye color, hair texture and skin color. The entire bone structure changes – and that bone structure – on its own, is uniformly hated by everyone, and stereotyped as being ugly. When 99% of Half Asians have Asian moms the message is very clear; Asianness is ugly, and our mothers are trying to get rid of it, and hype up our blue eyes and light hair (both of which don’t exist, or rarely do, or disappear when we get older).
So then you have millions of half-Asians that look more or less Asian, ethnically ambiguous, and are deeply ashamed of their Asian heritage, being raised by some weird, misogynistic, anti-feminist, anti-Islamic, anti-black guy, raising some half-Asian kid whose mother tells him that he or she is white and that it was a brilliant life choice to marry some racist asshole.
White men and Asian women will see you on the street and just assume you are another Asian male – and they will look at you with disgust (I get this all the time). Asian women will often do the “scowl” face at me while with their white partners – proving that white men / Asian women couples are about seething hatred, not love. The fact that my parents’ marriage was so violent confirms that there was no love there.
These are the same people who go onto raise us. Hateful, bitter, racist white men – since white men love humiliating Asian men in order to increase their access to Asian women. Literally – the entire premise of WM/AW is that Asian men are not men – and we, their sons, look totally Asian.
For this reason half Asian men tend to just wind up being even bigger failures than full Asian males. For this reason despite everything white men / Asian women can’t name any grandly successful biracial Asian men who look Asian.
“Dad, I get called a chink at school.” Oh, son, I don’t know what to do about that.
“Mom, a girl told me she doesn’t like Asian guys.” Oh, son, neither do I.
Now you wonder why Half Asians have rates of criminality that almost rival and even surpass rates of black kids from the ghetto?
Ever notice how the more a man “likes” Asian women – the more and more he seems to hate Asian men, feminism, white women, black people, and immigrants? I thought it was true love! Ever notice how incels tend to be extreme racists against everyone, yet seem to love Asian women and yearn to travel to Asia? Ever notice how Stephen Paddock loved Asian women? Ever notice that the world’s most famous “incel,” Elliot Rodger, was half-Asian and had an extensive manifesto filled with his hatred of Asian men and White women?
Ever notice how incel boards like 4chan, /pol, and other websites have a passion for Asian women? Why? Why do these hostile, violent incels have Asian women as their number one pick?
Bombarded by constant media depredation of your self esteem
Told by the overwhelming majority of women – including women who look like your mother – that you are inferior.
Have white supremacist fathers who married your mother because she is even more white supremacist than him, because she desperately wanted to integrate.
Have a broken home consisting of a nagging Asian mother depressed that her “life” in the West was a failure, that her husband is a loser who could not get a non-Asian woman and “used” her for companionship because of her innate desire to integrate.
Be told by your father and mother that you’re white, even though society doesn’t treat you as such.
This is the newest and most concise list of white supremacists with Asian wives, and Asian women who are actively involved with white supremacy organizations or movements.
It is not a small list. I actually involves some of the most prominent voices in White Supremacy and White Nationalism.
White Nationalist John Derbyshire. The leading figurehead in the alt right movement, Kyle Chapman. Chuck C. Johnson, professional racist. Andrew Anglin, the world’s most famous current Neo-Nazi. Richard Spencer. All of these guys had or have Asian partners, because White women are “traitorous mudsharks and liberal feminists”.
It’s essentially the same reason why very meek white men target Asian women – because they know that Asian women have much lower standards for white men, because Asian women are seen as both hypersexual and chaste, at the same time, meaning that they are willing to have relationships with white racist losers, while white women won’t.
In other words, while white men feel “cucked” (their words, not mine) by Arabs, Islam, blacks, hip-hop, thugs, and what not – Asian women provide a convenient exercise in both White-racial superiority, as well as a chance for them to have a “family” with a woman that is chaste, traditional, and “doesn’t embrace multiculturalism and Jewish influence.”
Because I am now considered one of the premier voices among Half Asians, pretty much, in the history of Half Asians, I will explain below just exactly why Asian women are loved by White Supremacists, why Asian women love them right back, and why half Asian children like Elliot Rodger and Daniel Holtzclaw are just a tiny portion of a bigger phenomenon. I myself was a former white supremacist, despite being half-Asian, something that I deeply regret, but this “race obsession” was largely in part due to have two extremely racist parents, as well as dealing with racist explicitly against my Asian-maleness.
In case you’ve never noticed, the majority of Half Asians are wildly arrogant and racist, despite never having accomplished anything of note; most of them brag about being half-Asian (despite the majority looking Asian as hell), which is something that no other group of mixed-race people does – and the only reason they do so is because they are insecure about their Asian heritage, because the overwhelming majority of us have white fathers.
In short: Asian women are the siegebreakers for White feminism, multiculturalism, and “anti-white” politics, that white men see as the answer for taking back the power that was “stolen” from them (but in actuality was just more evenly distributed). In other words, when White men fail with other women due to having autistic, racist or antisocial beliefs, Asian women, desperate to feel desired or genuinely attractive as a non-Asian (in particular, white) woman, are just there to “support them” in their anti-social, anti-progressive personal views.
Since these same women come from a culture where social status is paramount, culture and emotions are non-existent, they have no problem sleeping with – or not sleeping with, e.g., dead bedrooms – low status, ugly, white men.
Asian women are not more beautiful than White women; in fact behind closed doors the majority of Asian women admit that they are not attractive, and the only reason certain white men chase Asian women is because non-Asian women have standards. Most Asian women have a certain “unhealthy” and “unfriendly” look to them, which seems to match their very calculating and cruel behavior (the majority of White men with Asian brides are mercilessly bullied and castrated by their self-hating, bitter Asian wives who become more and more irate that their husbands are in fact, yellow-fever losers who could not form a normal relationship, and also because these same wives, desperate to feel white, are constantly reminded by society that they are not beautiful, or desired).
The only reason men think Asian women are more beautiful is because, frankly, they are easier, simply because they know they are less attractive with their clothes on. Male lust and true beauty must be distinguished, and male lust for Asian women lies in a male psychosexual desire to dominate and feel big and to escape castration by non-Asian women. This is why men who seek out Asian women are truly anti-social, extreme racists and extremely dangerous to their children; they have nothing kind to say about anyone because they know that their marriage is merely a pale imitation of a real relationship that wouldn’t exist if the races were switched.
So, racist white men seeking a “substitute” for white women that they view as traitors, will go for Asian women as a way to get laid / have a “traditional” marriage free from traitorous, slutty non-Asian women. It gives them a sense of control to be able to feel “bigger” than Asian men, and be able to be as racist and anti-social as they want, while being “married.”
To racist white men, Asian women want white children, they want to integrate, they love white culture, they especially won’t sleep with black men (like those whorish white women), and they are traditional, chaste, family-oriented, black hating, thin, light skinned, quiet women who act like White women should be acting.
The children of White men and Asian women will be high risk, being told that they are white by their mothers (which is never true), being encouraged to embrace white privilege by their pragmatist, cold blooded Asian parental figure, being mocked for their Asianness by their White fathers (who, for their entire marriage secretly hope for a White woman to come along), who hoped for their children to be white passing and to avoid any and all liberal nonsense about white privilege or SJW’s, and being mocked by White men and Asian women couples that parade around by the millions, pretending they are saving the world from blacks, minorities, immigration, SJWs, and whatever.
Where did Elliot Rodger – a half Chinese boy who hated black boys (called them the descendants of slaves), Hispanics, and Asian men – come from?
Let me explain, as a half Asian son of a White Nationalist, Holocaust denying, homophobic Nazi sympathizer, myself, and an Asian woman that desperately wanted to escape being Asian, wore colored contacts and dyed her hair red.
Below are several brief examples; there are perhaps hundreds of thousands of these guys – but not all of them make the news, and many just go about their day to day life (2017, July edit: see above link for a better list)
I am not against interracial marriage – I do recognize that I have immense emotional problems, and this is the result of an evil (or perhaps naive) man, my father, finding a loophole in a system that disfavors far-right, maladjusted, and overtly racist men. My brother himself has been seen by the police as being a “threat” and was institutionalized in the event that he would have gone on a killing spree. He also looks 100% Chinese.
My father is one of the most famous (notorious, rather) racists and homophobes in his entire continental region of the United States; my mother from China. Between 2010-2014 I went through a “Neo Nazi” stage, where I too became involved in Nazism.
Asian women are famous for being highly valued by racist white men, who view them as the antithesis to white female feminism, race traitors, and liberalism. My father, one of the most outspoken opponents of gay marriage in his entire region (in the United States), was married to an Asian woman. The “attraction” to Asian women is a very specific preference – largely predicated on the idea that Asian women like “beta,” maladjusted, unattractive and otherwise marginalized white men. 4Chan is largely an example of this. The more marginalized and insecure a man is – the more he tends towards being a racist, because he will see his whiteness as his only leverage in a world that devalues him; whereby, the more insecure and less desirable a white man is, the more prone he is to white supremacy, and the more insecure and less desirable a white man is, the more prone he is to fetishize Asian women as being the answer to traitorous white women.
In other words, “I may not be desired by white women (who I really want), but at least I can get a white skinned traditional Asian girl who will give me kids that (I hope) look white, like me, the most superior race in the world.”
Moreover, because many white men that lack the emotional or social or even physical capabilities to survive within Western society, they will use their race as a crutch (i.e., I may be a loser, but at least I’m white), and many of these “loser” white men become racist, and also rely on Asian women as a way to validate their whiteness. In other words, White women won’t take racist white men because they’re racist or losers or BOTH (it’s usually both),so these men fetishize Asian women.
Also, because of cyclical masculinity, white men who feel wronged by white women who prefer black men – highly value Asian women, since Asian women are known for not sleeping with black men.
Asian women are well known for loving blue eyes and blonde haired men – simply because they are white, and this means a higher status life and a means to integrate and feel beautiful – so white men capitalize on this, especially the ones who are unable to secure a white partner.
Asian culture also puts a high premium on integration and status, and marrying a white person is a shortcut to status, and integration. Much of the male’s flaws do not become apparent until later in life; yet Asian women are seen as an “antithesis” to the high standards of White women.
I.e., White women are viewed as not operating in accordance with the white man’s motives; so, whereby, Asian women, by virtue of wanting whiter children, and to escape the Gilded Ghetto / Model Minority second class citizenship, are very pro-white, and moreso, pro white-male. White men can escape “emasculation” by non-white men and white women, by “taking the power back” with Asian women, who want whiter children, and hate Asianness, and are unable to understand the cultural gap that makes the white male’s political views foreign to her.
They oftentimes, as a result, marry men like my father; antisocial, prickly, racist and extremely conservative, physically unattractive white men, and whether they intend to stay with these men after childbirth is still something I’m not sure of, given that many Japanese women kidnap their children back to Japan, and my mother, for example, started severely chastising and alienating my father after my brother and I were born, due to his political beliefs, unwillingness to work, and his general all-around awkwardness and autism.
In fact the entire gist of White male / Asian women relationships is that those white men with physical defects / mental defects have a better chance at getting a woman (in many cases, one with white skin) – than he would within his own race. Sounds un-PC, but people have died as a result, due to the fact that Asian women underestimate the potency of their genes, and that white skin does not equate to European appearance, and that the same White supremacist system they buy into, does not serve their children.
Biracial Asian children are raised under the “white is right” mentality, and inherit the father’s entitlement, yet none of the privilege – which makes biracial Asians especially volatile.
As to why Asian women love White supremacists – largely because these men are white. Asian women lack features that are found on other women, and so in a desperate attempt to make themselves feel more desired, they mistakenly go after white men (who they see at the pinnacle of society), with the belief that, should a white man accept them, that they are more beautiful, if not the most beautiful – which remains false. Even if the white male is undesirable or less attractive, because of their culture, they will not feel the need to sleep with these men, so his unattractiveness is moot to them. The problem is that they hope their children look white, and express disappointment when they look too Asian – leading to biracial Asian children being raised by literal white supremacists.
The list of alt-rightists, or Nazis, or general racists with Asian girlfriends or wives.
Richard Spencer, founder of the Alt-Right, admitted that he had multiple Asian ex-girlfriends, one of whom was interviewed for a MotherJones.com article.
A video below is ofDavid Pakman, who has confronted Spencer on his Asian fetish.
Derbyshire complains that despite giving his Eurasian daughter classical violin lessons starting at age 6, she enjoys hip hop music and is an anti-racist. “Nellie, with her well-practiced Uh-oh, Dad`s-in-racist-mode-again look of resignation and disgust”.
Nick Folkes; Australian “Stop White Genocide” campaigner. Folkes’ ex-wife is Japanese. “I know it’s a very controversial thing to say, but Islam isn’t compatible with our way of life,” he says, seated at his desk beside the coffin. On the desk is a copy of the Qu’ran annotated with sticky notes and a stack of anti-Islam Cronulla rally flyers.”
Some of the things he has done:
“Storming a church in Muslim garb the latest stunt of Party for Freedom’s Nick Folkes.” (August 15th, 2016, the Sydney Morning Herald)
Charles Johnson, “leader” in the alt-right, and so called “most hated man on the internet” (abc13.com, archived). Johnson is a “race realist” and “white nationalist” who did an AMA (archived here) with Reddit’s /r/altright. A description of some of the horrible things he has said and did is here.
Wikipedia describes Johnson as: “an independent American journalist and owner of the websites GotNews.com and WeSearchr.com. He has written two books.[self-published source]”
Snippets of his interview with Reddit.com/r/altright; (/r/altright is now banned) seen below:
Andrew Anglin; The creator of a massive Neo-Nazi website said:“Second, following from the key word there – “marriage” – the men who involve themselves with Asian women are looking for a serious and traditional relationship. Women who go with Blacks and Latinos are looking for excitement.”
Anglin was a former “recreational visitor” in the Philippines, as seen in the below picture.
A comment on a Reddit thread about Anglin. “You are deliberately trying to gaslight us. The reality is that Anglin, like many White men, has had past sexual intercourse with oriental women. As it’s very easy for a White man to have sex with oriental women, many White men do so – when they are young. I did so myself, in college. As in Anglin’s case, this was before I had developed my racial views. Today, I don’t have sex with orientals, and neither does Anglin.”
Vice article detailing Fischer’s racism, in an article titled “Exploring Bobby Fischer’s Maniacal, Racist Genius” (Sep., 2015); Original article seen here.
It’s hard to argue that Bobby Fischer was not a creep, because Bobby Fischer was a creep, and alienated virtually any friend, associate, or family member with a ceaseless combination of egregiously selfish behavior and an irrational antisemitism that bordered on maniacal. He was a Holocaust denier, kept boxes of Nazi propaganda, and on 9/11 he took this to the airwaves, via a public broadcast in the Philippines: “I say death to President Bush! I say death to the United States! Fuck the Jews! The Jews are a criminal people. They mutilate their children. They’re murderous, criminal, thieving, lying bastards. They made up the Holocaust. There’s not a word of truth to it… This is a wonderful day. Fuck the United States. Cry, you crybabies! Whine, you bastards! Now, your time is coming.”
The Atlantic.Com describes Fischer’s racism in “Bobby Fischer’s Pathetic Endgame” (Dec. 1, 2002).
Fischer added that the events of September 11 provided the ideal opportunity to stage a long-overdue coup d’état. He envisioned, he said, a “Seven Days in May scenario,” with the country taken over by the military; he also hoped to see all its synagogues closed, and hundreds of thousands of Jews executed. “Ultimately the white man should leave the United States and the black people should go back to Africa,” he said. “The white people should go back to Europe, and the country should be returned to the American Indians. This is the future I would like to see for the so-called United States.” Before signing off Fischer cried out, “Death to the U.S.!”
David Tovey, white supremacist who planned “who amassed a terrifying haul of arms and bomb-making equipment was planning to start a race war,” was married to a woman from Hong Kong. Archived link to an article explaining his activities.
He married Oi Yi Yip, who is of Hong Kong Chinese origin, in 1989 after they met at an Oxford hospital. They ran a Chinese takeaway in Birmingham together, which later went bust.
Man tweets former KKK Grand Dragon and owner and founder of Stormfront.org, asking about whether or not Duke would take his support despite being married to an Asian woman.
Brash stressed the significance of New Zealand’s British heritage. When asked “who are the ideal immigrants?”, Brash made the following statement;
British immigrants fit in here very well. My own ancestry is all British. New Zealand values are British values, derived from centuries of struggle since Magna Carta. Those things make New Zealand the society it is.
“Murray credits his time in the Peace Corps in Thailand with his lifelong interest in Asia. “There are aspects of Asian culture as it is lived that I still prefer to Western culture, 30 years after I last lived in Thailand,” says Murray.“Two of my children are half-Asian. Apart from those personal aspects, I have always thought that the Chinese and Japanese civilizations had elements that represented the apex of human accomplishment in certain domains.”“
The book is described by Wikipedia with the following:
“Many of the arguments put forth by the authors were controversial, ranging from the relationships between low measured intelligence and anti-social behavior, to a genetic component of the low observed test scores for African-American (compared with whites). The book was heavily publicized as it was released, just after the death of Herrnstein. In the first several months of its release, 400,000 copies of the book were sold around the world. The Bell Curve argues that:”
Criticism of the book is also described on Wikipedia as such:
Since the book provided statistical data supporting the assertion that blacks were, on average, less intelligent than whites, some people have feared that The Bell Curve could be used by extremists to justify genocide and hate crimes. Much of the work referenced by The Bell Curve was funded by the Pioneer Fund, which aims to advance the scientific study of heredity and human differences, and has been accused of promoting scientific racism.
Also from Wikipedia:
The Southern Poverty Law Center identifies Murray as a White Nationalist who uses “racist pseudoscience and misleading statistics to argue that social inequality is caused by the genetic inferiority of the black and Latino communities, women and the poor.”
Murray’s ex-wife is Thai, as admitted by Murray in an interview with Race Realist Steve Sailer, on the subject of Amy Chua.
“I was also laughing because the mother of my first two children was half Thai and all Chinese, and it was all so familiar. The subject heading of the email attaching the Chua article to my elder two daughters was “Bring back memories?” My own archetypal memory is when my eldest daughter, then perhaps eight years old, came home with her first Maryland standardized test scores, showing that she was at the 99th percentile in reading and the 93rd percentile in math. Her mother’s first words—the very first—were “What’s wrong with the math?”
Unnamed Stormfront Poster with half Japanese son: But, just because I have a biracial child doesnt mean I’d accept any inferior person as a mate, and the degeneration of our own gene pool which the Jews started means that many white women would fail my requirements in a mate. The current state of my sons development (at 5 years of age he’s taller than my waist and able to find his way around my computer.
Why do racist white men like Asian women? My dad is a Holocaust denier and has said that gays should be hanged, among other things, such as the fact that New York City is overrun by blacks, and Jews.
As a white male; you can be extremely racist, angry and bitter to the point nobody wants to be around you (my dad, who has no friends), and then go for the one race of women that will appreciate for – you guessed it – your whiteness. The idea is that Asian women are more traditional, more family oriented, and more appreciative of traditionally conservative values – childbirth, wedlock, etc. Asian women, in return, get white skin (a cultural value) and integration (personal value) and possibly fulfills a fetish for white men, regardless of the man’s beliefs. Because Asian women are so desperate to escape the Gilded Ghetto, in which she is subjected to marginalization, humiliation, and frankly – because Asian women are not more beautiful than other women – they can only attract bottom of the barrel white men, like my father, and they are perfectly fine with this.
The white man gets a “substitute” white woman – a white skinned woman with less attitude, and more proactive in her belief that whiteness is valuable. In a way, Asian women are even more pro-white than the average white woman.
If you are a bottom of the barrel white guy who feels like white women are too high maintenance and yet still wants to be proud to be white, and feel honored for your white blood, find an Asian woman. Not Latina, not black, not middle Eastern, but Asian. Honorary Aryans.
Since Asian women are seen as a fail-safe plan for a White guy – he can oftentimes feel the liberty to be over the top racist, and moreso, because Asian women are oftentimes seen (by most normal men) as strange picks, White men who like Asian women are oftentimes very insecure and even hateful against Asian males, their only competition in life during this race to the bottom.
Are Asian women more attractive than other races of women? Of course not. Their only appeal is that they are well known for being easier to obtain if you are white.
White men / Asian women is a tradeoff; Asian women get a white lifestyle, integration into “superior” white culture- white men get to feel valued for their race. Eurasians are raised as substitute white children.
This also explains why many half Asian criminals have expressed white-supremacist views; by and large because they aim for “upward” integration, rather than choosing to identify with a “net-negative” – or, Asian men, who are rejected by society.
This is long but I think it’s absolutely necessary and since my work has wound up in the NYTimes (when I wrote about White Nationalists who literally f***ing target Asian women, like my dad did, and some Op Ed writer literally just copy-pasted my list), I might as well go further with this. I’ll try to make it interesting.
I want to explain fetishes and racism, simply because I want the world to be a better place and because I want people to be aware of this – because I’m telling you that there are going to be high risk hapa kids out there.
I do not think I “own” Asian women, or that I particularly have a “preference” for them; I am writing specifically about what it is like trying to keep my sanity in a very racist society, with a mentally ill, self-hating, terminally-depressed, controlling, screaming, violent and cruel Asian mother, and a racist, anti-social, misanthropic, friendless, conspiracy-theorist and rejected white father (who is essentially autistic and would never have been able to form a relationship with a non-Asian woman and idealized Asian society as being more “traditional,” but merely because he was unable to compete socially or financially in Western society), who used Asian women as “revenge” against society that he viewed as degenerate, liberal, and anti-white; I have encountered racism specifically for my Asian half, and have gone through white-supremacist phases as a way to compensate for my insecurity.
It’s also an introspective look at my own ego. What I’m talking about are:
half Asian white supremacists / more half Asian spree shooters – some of them championing white supremacy,
white male Neo-Nazi spree shooters with Asian wives or girlfriends,
White men physically and violently attacking Asian guy / white woman couples, despite having Asian girlfriends and wives (already happened when Stephen Paddock shot a half-Asian guy who looked 100% Asian)
white nationalists (or at least, ultra conservatives) with Asian wives (already happening by the hundreds of thousands),
and Asian women appearing alongside men with disagreeable politics (already happening with Elaine Chao, Kyle Chapman).
as long as those politics either preserve, further or don’t endanger her ability to assimilate. Essentially we’re talking about a complete amorality. Not feminism, not liberalism but a complete amorality on behalf of a group of women desperate to feel included and attractive.
White women generally date out (on the rare case that they do) because they are liberal and like personality and good looks. Asian women date out because they are amoral, filled with resentment, and bitter about their low-status, and want to feel beautiful and accepted and so go out of their way to attack any and all Asian-looking men, including half-Asians. So white guys who hate white women for being liberal, go after Asian women who want to feel just as beautiful as “traitorous” white women.
It’s a mind****, right? But listen.
I believe that there is not a single political motive or expression of masculine energy that is not driven by sex and the male ego. These white racists with Asian wives and girlfriends, in their minds, rationalize it by convincing themselves that Asian women are more beautiful than white women, simply because Asian women have white-ish skin, and don’t behave like white women. But they know this isn’t true (Asian women vary in appearance) so these same men remain staunchly racist and bitter, keeping and bragging about access to easy Asian women as a last ditch booster on their racist masculinity. Essentially – the appeal of Asian women to white racists is not because of how they look (well, perhaps it is driven by pornography), but moreso the feeling of step-ladder masculinity, where White men who are rejected by women, feel at least that they can dominate Asians, and Asian women, and thereby recover their lost power.
Racist white men seek out Asian women to express power that was taken from them by progressive politics; these same white men almost ALWAYS have a very open mouth about anything and everyone – Asian men and White women in particular, which you would not expect from someone in a happy relationship.
These white racists with Asian girlfriends are in fact bitter about their rejection by non-Asian women and only use their “relationship” as a ways of “getting back” at a society that rejected them – and so if they see an Asian guy, who in their mind is beneath them, with an White woman, who was their first choice, they snap, despite being in a “relationship.”
A little bit about me: as I said, my father is essentially a white nationalist barring his wife. He has extremist pro-Western views, and many of these types view Western civilization on the decline thanks to, you guessed it, liberalism driven by White women (and Jews). To call him an anti-Semite is like calling the Mount Everest a tall hill. The dude is essentially Hitler. An Asian wife wasn’t an oxymoron for him; it made perfect sense, since White women were too slutty and feminist and liked dating black guys – Asian women treated conservative white men right. For a long, long time I avoided not only White women (I find them unattractive), and Asian women (I find their behavior repugnant). I have dated black women the most (they really like Asian guys, and I got shit for this by, you guessed it, my dad and mom), followed by Indian and Middle Eastern with some Latinas, and only one white woman, which I didn’t really like (I couldn’t get hard with her). I generally am only turned on by women of color.
I think I can extrapolate my unattraction to white women as being proof that the only reason some guys would only date them, was for some kind of power reason, and since I as a red blooded male could not get a boner with a white woman spread eagle in front of me, I’d say that it’s not difficult to imagine Asian women being turned off by some fat, sweaty white dude in front of her. However on hearing “I don’t like Asian guys,” and racist comments about my appearance from non-Asian guys, (I think I look very Asian), yet having a white dad who is literally a Goebbels fanboy, and a mom who, among all her sisters, married white dudes,
it was natural for me to become a white supremacist.
You’ll see this “behavior” in the majority of Half Asians, wherever you look. The overwhelming “half Asian master race” yapping that comes out of their mouths is just cover for their insecurity. There are no successful half Asian men anywhere; the very, very few half-Asian movie stars that have appeared in more than one movie (not like Goulding), are Keanu Reeves, Berenice Marlohe, Dean Cain, etc. All with Asian fathers.
I am decidedly the better looking brother, and my brother looks completely Asian and is 35 and has never had a girlfriend. But I have a history of being extremely racist against others because of my white dad and Asian moms’ influence, and if anyone wants to understand half-Asian identity merely look at it as a layered cake of deep seated insecurity about looking Asian, topped by the whipped cream of white supremacy.
Lots of white guys who brag about how Asian women are easy for whites, go into an intense rage seeing Asian and Eurasian guys with white women. They don’t do this with black guys and a lot of white men have developed this strange, inexplicable submissiveness to black men, which they rationalize by calling white women disgusting after saying “I don’t care, I prefer Asian women.” Yet they’re still insane racists even against their own sons.
In my history, when I identified as white, I did the same thing, when I saw prettier girls than the ones I could get, with Asian guys – and this seems to be the case where Asian men get much prettier (and nicer) women than the reverse.
It’s so bizarre that you have white guys jerking off to Blacked.com, with a Half Asian son in upstairs playing Legos, who are on the same porn websites downvoting AMWF videos to oblivion while their Asian wife slaps around in slippers nagging them.
I’ve also noticed that a lot of guys who chase Asian women have this incessant need to belittle Asian guys, despite raising Asian sons. This is almost exclusive to Asians; essentially you don’t see them talk so much about, like, fucking African or Muslim women, that are also famously “not corrupted by feminism.” In their mind, they’re making America great again by getting with Asian women but the extent of their concern to POC including Asians ends right after ejaculation.
Essentially, hatred for Asians and love for Asian pussy is exactly the same. It’s got its foundation in porn. I firmly don’t believe that a charming, good looking guy who has to choose between a beautiful non-Asian woman and an equally attractive Asian woman, would go for the Asian woman unless he has deliberate bad intent, because of the stigma.
So naturally you have millions of White racist dudes who fantasize about Asian women merely because they’re easy as long as you’re a maladjusted White male, but they turn around and just can’t shut the hell about how Asian males are inferior. I guess in their mind, that’s how they justify to themselves why Asian women are easy for non-Asian guys while non-Asian women won’t give them the time of day.
This is fairly common. /r/CCJ2 and /r/China are prime examples of the utter hatred, passive aggressiveness, and anger that seemingly “happily married” men have for Asians, being married to Asian women. Have you ever noticed that the white men who “like” Asian women are overwhelmingly hostile, passive aggressive, and seem to have a “racist tourettes” wherein they cannot stop mouthing off about Asian men and minorities?
My suspicion it has to do with just the bad mojo, the screaming and violence, the sexlessness, and the very hostile, antisocial Asian wife, in these couples. If you look in the mirror, every day for 40 years, and hate what you see, you aren’t in love; you’re in hate, with yourself, with your husband, because he likes you, an ugly Asian – and what kind of white guy prefers a woman who is ugly, in her own mind, over a white woman? And so she grows to hate him, as well, and he, her, for not being white, as he wanted. But he probably just hates the way she expresses her hostile, ruthless, just plain nasty Asian attitude to life (ASSIMILATE, INTEGRATE, SUCCEED), all spoken in a nasally whiny voice.
The guys who “like” Asian women don’t actually like them, but just see them as surrogates for the power that they feel they’ve had taken from them by feminists and minorities. That’s why you can easily be a white supremacist with an Asian wife, because you’re a white male supremacist and white women just won’t fuck you; it’s that simple. It’s deep seated entitlement that I understand because I’m half white and could pass for white as a younger guy. Essentially white men mistake Asian obsession for xenomorph-like assimilation practices as proof of sexual superiority, despite being in sexless relationships with Asian women.
And I think eventually being nagged by a self hating Asian woman (who arguably, given that the worst and ugliest ones go for whites), makes these men start to hate Asians, so they badmouth Asian men as a stand in for their wives, or their inability to really ever feel truly “powerful,” despite essentially truly believing that Asian women throw themselves at white men.
Let’s be honest here, there are good looking and ugly in every race, but the belief that Asian men are ugly fuels yellow fever, which essentially is a last ditch attempt at sexuality by rejected white men. There’s nothing wrong with Asian male looks and many are handsome, but the white male mind doesn’t see it like that. They can rationalize white women with black men as being because of black males’ dicks (hence racist white America’s obsession with interracial porn featuring black men and white women), but they can’t rationalize Asian males because most white men are inherently incapable of seeing things from another perspective. What’s worse is that since many Asian women are asexual, they historically have been trapped in survival mode so that’s why they have no problem with hideously ugly white men.
So you have a shit ton of white racist men who go nuts over Asian women as this far off safety net for white male sexuality, but these guys just HATE seeing Asian men with white women and even ASIAN WOMEN. So while non-Asian women may find Asian guys handsome, they face endless harassment from ugly Asian women and the white guys who need them for an ego boost.
These guys are creating Asian sons. Some of them you would have no idea were mixed. It’s hard for me to describe but I had a hard, hard time figuring out how to not want to be a white supremacist like my parents while on the other hand was being mocked for being Asian.
I’d say the bulk of guys I knew around me had a very passive aggressive pattern towards Asian males (including myself, it just seems to be that they have an incessant need to just talk about my Asianness) but seemed to be open to Asian women while talking shit about “feminist cunts.”
The other men I knew (who dated white women and were handsome and genuinely nice people), would always comment on how handsome I am. So if you’re a handsome Asian or Eurasian male you are literally expected to be single and stay away from not only non-Asian women but Asian women as well. And given that Eurasian and even Asian guys can be very attractive (look at KPop) my suspicion is that racism is just purely sexual jealousy and pettiness from white men.
Essentially, it takes insane mental endurance to be Half Asian and be subjected to the kind of crap we have to deal with. But I am fearful for many Half Asians that have to bear the brunt of this kind of thing. Half Asians with Asian dads inherit their fathers’ (and usually mothers’) looks as well as endurance, while half Asians with white dads inherit their dads’ pettiness and insecurity as well as their tiger mom’s nightmarish, violent, soulless parenting with the pure attempt to integrate into the reigning power structure, ala typical Asian mentality which seems to function on two modes: assimilate, or die.
I.e., the Hapacalypse.
Because now you have a ton of half Asians that are going to be ruthlessly mocked by their own extended mothers and fathers every time one shows up on TV. Just because white men like Asian women doesn’t mean that they care about Asians. The extent of the concern towards Asians stops after the easy pussy. I say pussy because Asian women aren’t really sought out for their faces, or culture, because most Asian and Eurasian guys know that they are tigers dressed like schoolgirls hence you have an entire island that’s sworn them off. Asian women regardless of how “beautiful” they are, are perpetual second or third choices, and they know this. That’s why they complain about yellow fever – because decent men who respect themselves and respect Asians don’t go after Asian women.
This is an explicitly Asian only problem, and doesn’t have an equivalent in other races.
The reason this doesn’t exist is because other minorities have strong images of fear / strength that intimidate people enough that their hindbrain understands the “inferior white female” as being attracted to violent, dominant men.
That’s why I’m terrified for these potentially insane half Asians. I am not angry at Asian out marriage rates; I am angry that it subjects us to very, very bad white fathers (essentially the world’s rejects who want to feel relevant against modernism) and I am angry that it doesn’t mean that we integrate (I know Asians, being the way they are, seem to view Half Asians as white, but the reality is that whites don’t view us as white as soon as they find out we have Asian blood.) I’m also angry that white losers trying to fuck Asian women worked around the clock to make Asian and Eurasian men feel like shit and keep us from fulfilling relationships with, say, black women, which I actually prefer.
It just means that a subset of white men are using Asian self-hatred to their advantage. I am also angry that if you are partially Asian, you are made your entire life to feel ashamed of it, to hide it, even by women that would otherwise be our mothers. Asian people actually encourage you to hide it. Half-Asian men are harassed for wanting healthy, fulfilling relationships with non-Asian women. It’s 100% an unavoidable, freight train of a disaster waiting to happen, because you have literally millions of these half-Asian kids that are being raised as white, ashamed of their race, and being born to hostile, antisocial white men who hate seeing White women with men of color and use Asian women as a layover flight till they find a “real” woman. Elliot Rodger was only the beginning, if I’m being perfectly honest.
The proximity to whiteness is what really screws up half-Asians, who are trained – by their mothers and fathers – to believe that Asian appearance (on a male) is a cardinal sin, and that assimilating to the powered group is the only function in life.
Most men are very pathetic, very insecure people who feel the need to constantly one-up men who they feel are more handsome and more talented than them. The overwhelming majority of mean and nasty comments I’ve ever received were from white men shorter than me, and unattractive Asian women. Just really hurtful stuff. One guy I knew had a white girlfriend who went to Asia to teach English and he confided in me, “I wonder if she’ll miss big American penis.” This same guy had a history with Asian women. He’s an incredibly bitter, insecure guy and people like him just wore me down, over and over, with the Asian comments, until I had a mental breakdown which I’m still reeling from.
I think I’m beautiful, I think Asian guys are beautiful, and the issue isn’t Asian women dating out in a desperate attempt to get food on their plates, it’s the fact that by doing so, they make Asian male looks a target for everyone in the world to mock (or hurt, or kill). I probably look whiter than most Eurasians, and so everyone thinks I’m crazy for talking about this, but spending an entire life hiding your ethnicity is hell, not heaven; and given that so many half-Asians I’ve seen personally look 100% Asian, I think that it’s going to be compounded in them.
The problem is that insecure white men use Asian women as a masculinity-validation (and Asian women use unattractive white men as a beauty validation within a society that rejects them by default), and ultimately this just hurts Eurasians and Asian looking men, because in a system of white supremacy, it doesn’t matter what or how you look like, you will still suffer. Just because these guys like Asian girls, doesn’t mean they accept Asian guys, and most Eurasians look Asian as hell and so we’ll see the results of this in a few years if not months.
If you add to the fact that non-Asian men see Asian women as this easy tool to prove they can “get laid,” but at the same time, don’t respect Asian women and just view them as a layover to the real prize, these men can be incredibly dangerous. Lots of these guys view Asian women as essentially being too easy for non-Asian guys, and in their mind they know they’re not attractive men, and they know the women are with them simply because they were easy, and it bothers them, and the nagging from the wife, the sexlessness (see JimCanuck) and rage, and being mocked and smirked at on the street for being a stereotype, makes these same men very angry, and racist, hence /r/CCJ2.
It makes them dangerous to not only Asian guys but Asian looking Hapa guys.
Re: the half Asian guy who was shot by Stephen Paddock.
Look at how Dave Chappelle for example looks terrible, he looks tired, fat, bloated and undersexed. I guarantee he is in a sexless marriage with his wife, and so he weaponizes Asian jokes as a way to take the power back. Maybe his lack of sex compelled him to take up lifting and going back into comedy like any old MGTOW with an Asian fetish.
Elliot Rodger would definitely have shot a half Asian guy who looked Asian, if he saw him. And I guarantee you, more and more beleaguered husbands to Asian women will be making the news for violence.
Eventually you’re gonna see some white nationalist on the news with an Asian wife at home who he left watching TV while he was shooting at Asian male / white female couples at the mall.
It’s like saying that Tyrese Gibson or Idris Elba can walk down a street at night without fear of being shot by the police, because they’re handsome.
That kind of dehumanizing racism really just destroys you inside when it becomes so common it’s just impossible not to notice. I’m deathly afraid for my children because this kind of racism seems acceptable and I don’t want them to feel this way and maybe because I love my wife and future kids so much this forum is an extension of my perpetual rage at racism.
I feel the majority of people around me my entire life have used me as a battering ram for their own fragile male egos. All I ever wanted was to just exist, to be happy, to do the things I love to do, without being judged and hurt by other men.
This only exists with Asian women. Only, only, only. Asian and Eurasian males are used as human toilets for fragile male egos, and some women are just so desperate to feel “included” and like they’re actually wanted by society and that they’re actually beautiful (behind closed doors most Asian women think they’re hideously ugly) that they get with the absolute most hostile men on the planet.
I love the way I look, I love my wife and I love being alive, but I am deeply disturbed and scared by a world that pretends that it’s so wonderful but is filled with such utter hate driven by sexuality. And sexuality is tied to race.
No white man alive can understand the feeling of being devalued for your race and every Hapa who pretends this is not an issue is just puffing out his chest because most men are so insecure of their own insecurity they will hide it until the end.
This is why Half Asians with white dads and Asian moms are the highest risk people on the planet. Blacks, Latinos and Arabs have their own in-groups, but also have more masculine self image that allows them to engage in relationships with women of their own race and outside of it, without harassment. But the guys that are literally spree shooters in the making are the ones who target Asian women as a way to feel big, and more often than not the “validation” from Asian women isn’t validation at all, but just an empty relationship.
Half Asians are harassed for their Asianness, not just by others, but literally by people who are our own parents. Add the ultra conservative, anti-feminist, MRA, MGTOW dad, and an Asian mom whose entire life has been based on the line: “suck it up, you’re white, better than being Asian,” and you have such a high risk demographic it blows my mind.
Either way I’ve always noticed that AMWF, AMBF and AMLF couples seem so happy, because the men are handsome (and the ceiling for Asian guys, I feel, is higher than even white men when it comes to women of true beauty), and I think that if society ever wants to find a link to spree shooting and violence and masculinity they need to look at this.
There is an incredible long list of white racist men married to Asian women – because White women (in their words) “are mudsharks, coalburners, and feminists.” These white men see Asian women as unwilling to sleep with black men, having a low number of sexual partners, family oriented, traditional, chaste, more loyal, and supportive of white supremacy.
But these same men all turn around and viciously attack Asian guys and White women.
What do you think when these racist non-Asian guys and their Asian brides have children who look Asian?
I have had non-Asian guys sleep with Asian women (because these men were unattractive and racist), and the same day mock me for my Asian appearance.
The vast majority of the world fetishizes Asian women as being easy to screw and being submissive and being “available” as long as you are hungry for a date. It doesn’t mean Asian women are the hottest, or most desirable, but simply “the easiest”, compared to women of their own race. I’m being very, very honest as a Eurasian guy.
In fact many non-Asian guys, including White men (in particular), will use Asian women as a safety-net against being single, or what is commonly known as “being incel.”
Since “incel” men are the most hostile, bitter, and violent, the literal bottom of the barrel racist white men target Asian women as a way to get back at women that rejected them.
Incel websites and websites that are devoted to disappointment with the behavior of non-Asian women all, and I mean all, idolize Asian women as being “anti-feminist.”
Essentially, what this means is that Asian women are highly valued by men of all races who struggle with women of their own race, and the “go to” for men who want to “reclaim power”, and want the feeling of being a big man without having to deal with non-Asian women that will challenge that.
And since Asian women are so desperate to get away from their unattractive men and to feel like they are desirable and have status, they will willingly date men who hate Asians.
In other words, because the majority of non-Asian men think Asian men are so pathetic and unmanly, that Asian women are just a “safe bet” if you have any kind of problem with non-Asian women. This means that Asian women are the go-to for guys who are literally on the bottom sexually, emotionally, and socially.
These same guys see Asian guys as sexual punching bags.
In fact the whole world hates seeing Asian guys as sexual beings because Asian men are supposed to be lower than every man on the planet, and there is no way a woman anywhere on the planet (including Asian women) should be with an Asian man, despite empirical evidence that Asian men can marry women, Asian or otherwise, that are over and above stunning. I think this deeply disturbs WMAF couples the most.
Asians are completely unique, on the planet, in the fact that they are considered better only when mixed with something non-Asian; nobody else thinks like this.
Asianness is bad on its own, and Asianness is mocked and discouraged from any self-esteem, and Asian women are very well aware of this and desperately attempt to escape it, and to achieve a non-Asian appearance – which would give them a feeling of “normalcy.”
Since Asianness is abnormal, the vast majority of people feel that they can say and do whatever they want to Asians – because Asian people do not fight back, and especially because Asian women are essentially easy lays for non-Asian guys and Asian guys are inferior by default.
In fact simply because the interracial outmarriage rate is so high – this makes people even more adamant about attacking and degrading Asian people;
and Asianness and Asian identity essentially just becomes the extent of what Asian women can provide a non-Asian man.
When I was single and alone, I too hated seeing Asian men and White women, and since I myself was half-Asian, I was supposed to be better; and most half-Asian men around the globe have this psychology where we all think that we are a “master race” (simply because our mothers were Asian and our fathers non-Asian), despite having nothing to show for it.
So men marry Asian women, and see their Asian wives as a permanent “second choice,” waiting for a non-Asian woman to come back.
That is why men from Dave Chapelle to Kyle Chapman all say “I’m not racist, I’m in an interracial relationship;” but what they really mean is that “I’m racist, I have a huge problem with political correctness and modern progress and Asian women are the only women desperate enough to get away from their own men to tolerate extreme misogynists and anti-social guys like myself.”
Every single white guy or non-Asian guy that gets with Asian women harbors anti-Asian views in particular devoted to the men. They do not respect Asians nor to they see any value to them other than as a pill to heal feminism and women’s standards.
And since Asian women are so easy for non-Asian guys, that must mean that Asian guys are the worst.
Men of all races hate, hate, hate seeing Asian men with non-Asian women, because it reminds them that they failed.
It reminds these men that a man who is supposed to be undesirable even to their own women got a woman that they secretly wanted.
That is why you have white nationalists married to Asian women, but on the side attacking Asian males at every chance they can get, ignoring the incredible damage this does to their children.
There are three options for half Asian kids.
Look white, according to what your parents want
Look mixed, and pretend you are master race (even though most half Asians look like some mystery-ethnicity that tends towards the global average of Latinos or Arabs)
Look Asian, which is what your parents don’t want.
All three are bad, because in all of them, being Asian is a bad, bad, bad thing. Only in the case of Asian – non-Asian relationships, is the mother always the Asian one.
Children internalize that, and no other mixed race pairing is this fundamentally unbalanced – not even black / white marriages.
Non-Asian men absolutely hate seeing Asian looking guys with women.
They are okay seeing “more masculine” types such as black males with White women, because they are intimidated, but in their brains they feel that Asian males are supposed to be fundamentally beneath them, and that they can continuously attack Asian males, despite (but probably because) Asian women being open to everyone is the status quo.
So now we have millions of Asian looking young men being raised by non-Asian guys who use Asian women for an easy lay, yet hate seeing Asian (full or half) guys do even the most basic thing in life.
The entire point of being mixed race is to NOT BE RACIST, but instead we half Asians are being raised by literal hyper-racists who are together for extremely racist reasons: one wishes he had a white woman, and one wishes she was a white woman. Why the hell should I apologize for telling the truth about the the racism that goes on in WMAW homes and how it screws up the kids, who more often than not look Asian – not that that even matters?
Conservative, and traditional White dudes sometimes want Asian women because they feel white women embrace “Jewish influence,” like, well, having sex with black men, feminism, being “too disgusting,” not feminine enough, etc.
Essentially, it’s cyclical masculinity where white men that initially wanted white women and white children, feel threatened by foreign cultures and foreign men (who are more masculine – in the white male’s mind, or at least chosen by white women), so these same conservative white racists who hate darker skinned men for their “aggressive behavior”, act exactly the same towards Asians – yet raise Asian sons in an environment that they themselves contributed to, while married to Asian women who wanted the feeling of being better than other Asians, and the feeling of integration into a superior Western culture because that means that she has achieved STATUS.
White men who want to feel power and control yet are rejected by White women seek out the power anywhere they can – in the arms of “traditional”, “loyal”, and “chaste” Asian women, while maintaining white supremacist beliefs. Many, many, many, many Half Asians can attest to racist white dads who were racist behind their mothers’ backs (or even in front of them), and the resulting insecurity and anger many of us have being made to feel ashamed of half of ourselves by the same society our white fathers wanted to preserve.
Being mocked and made to feel inferior for your Asian heritage is bad enough without having to endure it at home, and made to feel like you do not have the right to exist – at home.
More often than not, white men fetishize Asian women as being “straight-laced,” and “family oriented,” for white men who are being rejected by western society, which appreciates the right of women to choose men based on their looks and personality.
Meaning a lot of autistic, unattractive white men abuse their “status” with Asian women, who want to integrate and fit in in a Western society so that they can take “power” from White women, and find an easily manipulatable man who will give them a ticket to integration and belonging (generally, Asian males – especially foreign born – are too aggressively masculine in their looks and behavior, so this conflicts with the aggressive, asexual, calculating behavior of many -but not all – Asian women). Asian culture is generally about assimilation and status and power, so among ALL RACES, only Asians have an imperative to marry for STATUS rather than love.
While non-Asian women generally marry decent looking men of any race for love, unattractive, bottom of the barrel, racist white men who feel “wronged” at society because they are low-value, will seek out Asian women, and specifically only Asian women, while maintaining their entitlement and racist views, because they know that the immense cultural gap prevents Asians from understanding racism and autism.
Many white men with Asian wives are kettle pots with something called “racial tourettes” where they seem to constantly need to belittle, attack and say horrific things about Western society, Western women, Asian men, black people, liberals, and anything else; their Asian “wives” are their affirmation that they are allowed to say these things because these women come from “traditional cultures” that hate blacks.
Look at the comments throughout this blog to see the utter hatred these “Asiaphiles” have for white women and Western society; white men who claim that white males are the most oppressed have an almost insane penchant for Asian women, as a play for dominance.
It’s cyclical masculinity – where white men who understand that white women prefer black and Arab men – behave exactly the same towards Asians, and want their children to be a carryover for the “pro-white” behavior of their fathers.
Asian women support “good white men,” and love their blue eyes and light features, and want to have a “stable family,” and will NEVER touch a black or dark skinned man. Asian women are chaste, thin, demure, gentle, cute, non-promiscuous, and want to live in a White society, and to be just as beautiful (or more beautiful) than the white girls that hate them; they appreciate tall noses, and conservative white men who cannot attract non-Asian women. Since Asian women view everything in life as a brutal competition to survive (a carryover from their historical atheism), they have no problem marrying very ugly, bald, unattractive white men, since they will only have to sleep with them once in a while.
Then their Asian moms, desperate to feel better than Asians, desperate to feel integrated tell their sons that “they’re white.” They say they’re superior Eurasians, master race, better than everyone. The kids grow up thinking that they’re white, dancing around, pouting like Elliot Rodger, thinking they’re superior human beings – until they get a slap in the face when someone makes fun of them for looking Asian – and Asian looks are the worst in the world, according to these same childrens’ mothers.
Then these half-Asian kids, growing up listening to their dad worship David Duke – a former KKK klansman – come face to face with Asian jokes, face to face with Whites who will look at their features as foreign; then these kids snap.
Essentially they’re wannabe whites raised by a white dad that really wanted a white woman – and an Asian woman who wanted to be white, the difference being that they harbor the most angst and fear about not actually being white. So they’ll compensate.
Asian women seem to know this – but avoid the elephant in the room.
Despite claiming that half-Asians are wildly successful (we are not, especially not compared to half-black people, who white conservative men passionately hate for reminding them of the “treason” of white women), there is no indication that half-Asians with white fathers and Asian mothers have achieved major success, even compared to other mixed-race pairings (such as the worldwide fame of Gigi Hadid and Zayn Malik – both of whom have Pakistani fathers and white mothers).
We can just go out on a limb and say that it’s the overall creepiness of the leering, racist white dad with yellow fever and the self hating Tiger Mom and that entire “dynamic” that screws up biracial Asian sons of WMAF, but it’s deeper than that.
We could also say that most Half Asians with Asian dads involve a tall, handsome, charismatic Asian guy and a very beautiful white woman (due to having high standards on both parts), while most Half Asians with white dads involve a rejected, anti-social, anti-feminist white man and a self-hating Asian woman.
Essentially, low-status white males and self-hating Asian women decided that they needed some way to justify an immensely unbalanced and fundamentally racist and elitist pairing, and so they promised hybrid vigor as a way to compensate for the fact that Asian males are hated, while Asian women are adored as an alternative for low-status non-Asian men who failed at relationships.
The best thing an AMWF / AMXF / AMLF couple can do is avoid WMAF, and keep their children away from WMAF. There have been reports (largely on Reddit) of WMAF couples actually going out of their way to denigrate and attack the children of AMWF and we all know now that White men married to Asian women seem to have a perpetual “racial tourettes” where they can’t prevent themselves from saying overwhelmingly racist things about white women, blacks, Asian men, and are so bizarrely creepy that they will actually examine their childrens’ facial features and stare at Hapa men in public as if they are gauging whether or not they want a son who looks more chinky or less.
After fifty years of boasting of some eugenic hybrid vigor (which no other mixed race pairing has promised) – the very best they can do now is steal Keanu Reeves (Asian father), spout off Nathan Adrian (5’11” Chinese mother, an extreme rarity), Olivia Munn (well known for being a horrible person), Kristen Kreuk (a has-been who has never achieved major success), and some half-Filipinos (some of whom aren’t even half Asian) while coming up almost entirely short on famous half-Chinese or half-East Asians with Asian mothers.*
I will use the following paper, “Children and the Shifting Engagement with Racial/Ethnic Identity among Second- Generation Interracially Married Asian Americans,” (Kelly Chong, PhD, University of Kansas, 2013), and the paper “Racial Identity, Family, and Psychological Adjustment in Asian-White Biracial Young Adults” by (Vanessa Chong, University of Windsor, 2012).
Both papers ironically were written by Asian women with white partners – as if they themselves have begun to worry about their own children; they both write specifically that the children of Asian men and White women fare better than the reverse.
The reasons are varied, but I have compiled them all with actual sources, written, ironically, by Asian women with White husbands.
Asian men and white / non-Asian women.
Woman likes the Asian male despite his race and all of the negative stereotypes against him. Generally his race won’t be an “issue” (meaning that many White / black women are completely unaware of what the children of WMAW couples talk about)
“I always felt as if being black was cool,” Mr. Obama said. “[Being black] was not something to run away from but something to embrace. Why that is, I think, is complicated. Part of it is I think that my mother thought black folks were cool, and if your mother loves you and is praising you — and says you look good, are smart — as you are, then you don’t kind of think in terms of ‘How can I avoid this?’ You feel pretty good about it.”
Understands the child will be perceived as Asian and nurtures it in him, unlike White fathers and Asian mothers who hope the child looks white, and truly believes the child is white despite the kid facing extreme overt bullying and harassments from Whites / non-Asians for being Asian.
Many of the Euro- ethnic wives in my study were distinctive in that most of them appeared to be more cognizant about the issue of ethnic identity with regard to their children than were the Euro-American husbands in the study and, for the most part, were enthusiastic about helping their children engage it in some form. (Chong, pp.211)
Doesn’t pretend the kid is going to be a male model
Healthier fundamental basis, no white supremacist, anti-feminist white father who idealizes Asian women; no Asian mother who says horrific things about Asian males.
Loves the Asian male on either his looks or his character or both; doesn’t have delusional ideas about the child being a superhuman based on his race; if anything, completely avoids or shuns the idea that Eurasians are superior due to the fact that they are half white.
Doesn’t talk shit about Asian women.
In contrast to the women who frequently alluded to the nerdy quali- ties of Asian males as reasons for these men’s undesirability, interracially married Asian American men in my study rarely mentioned explicitly the physical shortcomings of Asian females as reasons for not marrying or dating them. (Chong, 2013; Pg. 197-198)
Both parties are conventionally attractive rather than fetishes
Although Asian American women in this study were generally highly assimilated as well, I believe my observations support the findings elsewhere that the assimilation “bar” may be higher for Asian American men than it is for Asian American women who wish to cross the ethnic/racial line in terms of romance and sex. (Chong, pp. 198)
Relationship is not politicized against Asian males or White females, as is the case in WMAW relationships; Asian male does not talk poorly about White men or Asian women
Asian men and white women do not promise Eurasian superhuman myths of their children, which seems common in extremely average looking White male / Asian woman couples. Asian men and white women do not hype up or focus on the child’s Asian features – merely that is is a child whose parents were in love.
While Asian women essentially do not date anyone but White men – Asian men have diverse love interests and oftentimes marry women that are opposed to White supremacist ideals.
The White or non-Asian women who go after or accept an Asian man tend to be more socially conscious and tuned in with the child’s ethnicity and needs.
Many of the Euro- ethnic wives in my study were distinctive in that most of them appeared to be more cognizant about the issue of ethnic identity with regard to their children than were the Euro-American husbands in the study and, for the most part, were enthusiastic about helping their children engage it in some form. (Chong, 2013; pg. 211)
Asian men and White women do not raise their children to be “master race”, push them to be models or actors, – but moreso normal, well adjusted people who are grounded, get good jobs, good education, and develop normal social lives.
White women will not marry an Asian male for status, as this is impossible given the lower status of Asian men.
Asian men actually have to meet a threshold in order to marry a white woman – they have to be good looking, or have a good job, or a great personality. A white man literally needs none of these when marrying an Asian woman, setting a terrible example for the child: i.e., look handsome, white, or die.
Most white men who get with Asian women are generally meek, “weak,” anti-social, Asiaphiles, nerdy, nebbish, or “losers”
Relationship is not about integration and assimilation into Whiteness, but against it
Relationship is not tinted with anti-feminist sentiment
Asian guy needs to hit a certain looks standard (looks are more important to White females than they are to Asian females)
Asian father is traditionally masculine, has good facial ratios and fits conventional attractiveness, which western women find appealing, due to narrow eyes, tan skin, dark coloring
No covert incest between mother and child
Promotes sports and social activities
Confident AMWW children generally date White women / non Asian women
Genuine interest in the Asian culture
Hopes the child looks Asian / dark features
Both parties have friends from a wide range of races and backgrounds
Doesn’t prioritize race, “passing” or “white privilege”
Both parties are historically disenfranchised
A very good looking Asian guy generally will wind up with a woman of another race
White men and Asian women
Woman likes male specifically for his whiteness and status (Hence massively skewed statistics among Asian women and white men – no other minority men)
Hopes child looks white
Praises the child’s light features / Euro features
Strongly hypes up the child’s ethnicity as biracial, promising high status which the child fails to obtain
Child generally strongly disfavors anything but the white side
Another Chinese American mom, Carol, related an incident about one of her young daughters that she found similarly disturbing and unexpected: this daughter, who is more Asian looking than her sister, announced suddenly one day that she did not like Chinese people, or anyone with black hair and dark skin, and chose a book for a school project explaining that it had light-skinned people on the cover. (Chong, pp. 205)
White men / Asian women generally have the most really terrible things to say (Chong, 2013, pg. 197-198) about Asian men and have a complex power dynamic (White father, Asian mother) wherein neither is willing nor able to visualize the problems of the child. After all – Asian women want white children, and don’t seem to care as to how they get them. Asian women will praise White features – ignoring the fact that many half-Asians look totally Asian, either at birth, or in adulthood. This causes the child to hate its Asian side – like Elliot Rodger, and Daniel Holtzclaw.
In contrast to the women who frequently alluded to the nerdy quali- ties of Asian males as reasons for these men’s undesirability, interracially married Asian American men in my study rarely mentioned explicitly the physical shortcomings of Asian females as reasons for not marrying or dating them. (Chong, 2013; Pg. 197-198)
In fact, Monica recalled an incident that was highly disturbing to her. When it was pointed out to her six-year-old son explicitly for the first time that he was half-Korean, she remembered that he almost became angry and horrified, and retorted, “No I’m not!” and ran out of the room. (Chong, pp. 202).
If child is not white, the mother will develop resentment toward him due to loss of status (hence so many Asian women with Asian looking sons displaying anti-social or miserable behavior).
No other interracial pairing, including Asian men / White women pairs, are so obsessed with how their kids look. White men, in particular, have a habit of staring at Eurasian children so as to examine their features in a way that some Nuremberg scientist would.
Extraordinary high rates of mental illness among mothers
The psychological emasculation of the child may start at an early age, especially within white supremacist cultures that love to demean Asian men, whereby the child feels mentally destructed or encouraged to hide his Asian side (which always fails).
White men involved in these relationships blatantly ignore signs that they are being used for their race and privilege, such as nearly constant comments about how “handsome” their western features are (despite not actually being handsome) and then don’t realize that they are being primed to create children like us whose entire value is that we look less Asian than we would normally look.
Encourages child to pass as white, compliments the child’s white features; this doesn’t exist in other biracial pairings where there is so much weird, creepy “examining” of a the child’s features: this is exclusive to WMAF couples.
Discourages child’s Asian features
Asian women historically do not marry for love – only for social benefit – and marriage to a white man, and only a white man, is seen as being the ticket to integration and “superior” children to fulfill a stringent life plan.
Family home environment harshly discourages identification with Asian males, yet promises high status for being mixed with White
Only care about the Asian culture after freaking out abut the child’s Asian looks
White men and Asian women in these relationships generally hate Asian men – yet their sons look Asian to Western society.
They willingly ignore long legacies of white male supremacy in the Western world and willfully ignore clear indications of narcissistic behavior, such as fetishizing the child for his white skin / big eyes.
The entire premise is built on the hope that the child is white passing, whereby the father’s behavior, character (racist, alcoholic, violent, broke), all are non-issues as long as he is white; should the child be Asian looking, neither parent is prepared or willing to help him.
Monica, the Korean American mentioned earlier who in the past struggled painfully with her Korean heritage and appearance, feels that now that she has biracial children, she finds reengaging with Korean culture a simple necessity….
When asked whether she would care about ethnic cultural maintenance had her kids been Euro-ethnic, she confessed that she would not, and that the reason she felt the need to reconnect to her ethnic culture was because her kids have an undeniable Asian appearance. (Chong, 2012; pg. 202)
More often than not – but not always – the father is bottom of the barrel mentally or genetically (the prior in my father’s case) and for whatever reason ignores the woman’s clear white worshipping because he will stoop to any level to get laid… (English teachers, weaboos, nerds). Essentially men that were never intended to reproduce manage to find a way by virtue of having white skin.
Essentially any white guy can get an Asian woman
Both parties limit themselves to white friends
White privilege is taught to the child, and even encouraged by both parents
Many very unattractive white men go for Asian women as a fallback
Near constant debasement of Asian maleness in the home
Strong animosity towards anything and everyone Asian
Strong dislike of AMWW couples
WMAW children generally limited to dating Asian women due to low self esteem
White father harasses children and makes Asian jokes
White father is oftentimes earning much less than the mother
White father is oftentimes a “loser” or a racist who sees Asian women as “replacement” white women who appreciate white men – leading to the child retaining the racist mentality.
Higher divorce rates
High parental health complications.
Just look at these couples. The power imbalance alone (75-80% of all Hapas having White fathers is enough of an implicit message that Asian men are inferior) is enough to cast a side eye at them…. now imagine the result of being the child.
Why the HELL are the most successful Eurasians to come out of EUROPE of all places – the hotbed of extreme racism, produce uniformly successful half Asians with Asian fathers despite being outnumbered?
These are all more or less familiar names – where are the ones with white fathers?*
American television, in the last year or two, has featured six Eurasians that I’m aware of.
SIX out of SEVEN of these half-Asians on AMERICAN TELEVISION in recurring roles have white mothers.
Rush Hour – Jon Foo
Marco Polo – Remy Hii
Agents of Shield – Chloe Bennett
House of Cards – Sandrine Holt
Elektra – Elodie Yung
The Amazing Race – Zach King
Criminal Minds – Daniel Henney.
Here are all the aggregated links discussing why the reasons AM/WW seems to produce top feeding success stories, while WM/AW produces dregs and burnouts.
*I will admit that half Philipinos seem successful. I don’t know why – but East Asian mothers really love to try to highjack half-Filipinos to fill out rosters; why can’t they name any half Chinese sons beyond 2 or 3?
*I am aware there are successful half Asians – by law of numbers there will be. Fifty years of WMAW pairings would logically produce a few; yet despite being vastly outnumbered the children of Asian men / White women seem to have gone above and beyond – I would imagine being a Bond girl, a massive celebrity in Switzerland of all places would count as very successful.
White men who like Asian women HATE Asian men – because Asian men are beneath them when these same White men have failed at everything and develop an animosity to Western women and Western culture. When White men who have Asian partners see Asian men and White women together (since White women – who they view as traitors – were their real goal), they go into a rage – even at the expense of their own half-Asian children. This is because these same White men are bitter at their rejection, bitter at “liberal society,” and bitter at having to resort to controlling, mean-spirited and terminally-depressed Asian women, rather than having a loving relationship.
I am Eurasian with a White father and Asian mother. I am incredibly, incredibly messed up, way beyond normal behavior for a male of my age. A lot of this has to do with my paranoid, conspiracy theorist dad (who stopped working because he was afraid that Jesus was coming back, and drove my mother insane), and depressed, mentally-ill Asian mother. I inherited a lot of their mental “problems” – as well a their cultural baggage.
I understand that as a Eurasian male – there are going to be people out there that are a lot worse, particularly when nobody listens to you.
Want to know why? Look at this post by a White guy in Taiwan who was seeking a Taiwanese woman but said, in regards, to Taiwanese men / foreign women couples – that there were “more than there should be.”
In the past, I was actually verbally attacked and humiliated for my Asian appearance – despite having a White father and Asian mother – by several of my university classmates. Each and every one of the classmates that did this – was a racist against Asians; one was Arab, two were white.
As engineers they would constantly complain about the Asians in the library or in the cafeteria. It turns out that these men, given that they were neither particularly good looking, and also very nerdy, all slept with Asian women for casual sex and hookups. Because these were the only women these guys could get. These same men would routinely make fun of me for my appearance, ask questions like “are you taller than everyone in China?” (despite the fact that I’m shorter than many high school students, at 6’0″ tall), and made small penis jokes.
It’s not unusual for men who like Asian women to have a particular hate for Asian men and Eurasian men .
The reason for this is because these men who like Asian women generally do so, as a way to “take back the power” in the form of male sexuality and dominance over Asian women – the women that are known, frankly, for being available for anyone that is not Asian. Asian women are not the most attractive, but largely, because of their stigma, tend to attract men who seek to express a latent desire to have a woman who will beget them with a sense of sexual worth, when in fact, these men might be lacking it in the first place; the desire for Asian women is generally consequential to ones inability to secure a non-Asian partner.
In other words: Asian women are THE LAST RESORT FOR BOTTOM OF THE BARREL (SOCIALLY, MENTALLY, OR PHYSICALLY) MEN.
So in a way, the entire appeal of Asian women is that they are available to you, if you fail to get what you want from non-Asian women, who are generally more physically appealing and have higher standards. Meaning that, if X women are too feminist, they don’t like you, too demanding, well, at least I can get an Asian woman – since she will do anything for integration and status (though this is not known to the male, who assumes that the woman just wants “big cock” and “sex with a superior male.”)
So when these men see Asian men with White or non-Asian women, it triggers them, in a way that is exceptionally dangerous, even bordering on violent. Because the Asian male (and in many cases, the Eurasian male) is a non-entity, a feminine other that does not deserve love or sex or companionship. Keep in mind that the man who chose an Asian woman – generally chose her as a second choice, as a response to White or other non-Asian women who have too high standards.
The entire appeal of Asian women is that they are available if and only if the first choice – a non-Asian woman – is not available. Meaning that men like me, who started off charming, outgoing and ambitious, refused to date them because I felt simply that it wouldn’t challenge me as a person, and largely because I didn’t want to be worshipped for my half-White blood. My first kiss actually was with one of the nicest girls I’ve ever known, who actually was Japanese and now engaged to a hapa with a Japanese father, but other than that, since that period I became more and more wary of Asian girls. Unfortunately for the decent ones out there.
So when a man who settles with his second choice – or even last choice before…. suicide, or whatever (as in the case of the original post), sees an Asian man with a White woman – it drives him crazy. It drove Elliot Rodger, the son of a White man and an Asian woman crazy, to see Asian men with White women. The following picture was essentially the catalyst that drove Elliot to murder White women and Asian men.
Why would the son of a White man and an Asian woman want to murder White women and Asian men?
Have you seen the way that white men who fetishize Asian women talk down about Asian women and white men? Spend time around them or go into a place like /r/china and ask yourself, honestly, two questions:
How is this progressive?
What is this going to be like for the sons who look Asian?
How the hell is is possible to be normal?
Keep in mind that contemporary White male masculinity is essentially now hinged on the dominance over Asians. Keep in mind that the White male is now “under attack” by Muslims, blacks, and other people of color.
In order to really overcome their fear of losing both political and sexual power, the availability of Asian women is their number one fallback plan.
Asian male / White female (or in some cases another type of woman) tends to provoke anger in non-Asian males in a way that others are not able to properly understand.
Just read how this woman was harassed by a Trump supporter for having an Asian husband. Archive here.
Keep in mind that many, and I mean many, Trump supporters fully support WMAW.
Another thing to point out – like the top cartoon – is that certain Asian women are pretty much incapable of the Westernized notion of love. Tiger Momming is in their veins, as is Tiger Relationships were they get a white husband, nag and scold him constantly, and so the White man finds himself in a loveless relationship while genuine relationships between Asian men and White women – based on love, mutual understanding and similar life goals, drives him crazy. So there’s that.
Obviously these are generalizations but when something like this is ignored, bad things have happened and will happen. The real culprit is just common every day white supremacy, otherwise known as that practiced by your average twenty something fuckboy.
I think this could be relevant to anyone interested. I deeply regret becoming a White supremacist and a Nazi, despite having an Asian mother, yet this is incredibly common among the children of White racist men who seek out Asian women as a validation for whiteness – and Asian women who push their children to identify as White.
I challenge anyone on this planet to provide a simple explanation as to why a half Asian guy who looks and identifies as Asian (because most non-Asians will always, always point out the Asian in you), would be proud to identify as an Asian male – when almost 100% of the time, the father is White, and the mother is Asian.
Being proud would require a complete inversal of all potential logic. There is no reason to be proud of your mother’s heritage when she truly believed that Whites were superior to her – White women do not want to create Half Asian babies, meaning that White men and white society is good enough to keep white women on the plantation. Not Asian women though.
Asian people have a massive inferiority complex about their appearance relative to everyone else due to their facial features – undefined, and undesired by the majority population, so Asian women will submit themselves to very racist, unattractive white men who take advantage of their ingrained self hatred.
Essentially, being Asian is so bad – it subjects an individual to such harsh racism – that even the worst white male, a racist, undesirable, unattractive and rejected White male – is a better pick. Because Asian women provide a “service” to lonely white men – i.e., cure their loneliness – they feel more integrated and get a chance to avoid the crippling Asian stereotypes and harsh realities of being Asian in a hyper aggressive Western world;
but then their sons come out look 110% Asian and are even more self hating than their mothers, being subjected by both of their parents as well as society to the idea that:
being Asian is bad.
Sure there are Hapas who “do well,” but how many Hapa men do you know who just wind up marrying Asian women because White women reject them?
This is the direct result of having a Chinese mother who wanted to integrate into the US and was adamant about her hatred of anything Asian. For a long time I considered my mother to be “white”, as she had altered her appearance so extensively that in my vague memory of her – I never considered her an Asian woman, and only yesterday (yes, that yesterday) was I able to look in the mirror and see an Asian guy looking back, and be able to not revert into an immediate panic. This was also the result of being surrounded – yes, surrounded, as five out of six of the Asian women in my family were married exclusively to White – not Indian, black, Latino – but White, men, and I internalized this through my entire childhood.
Most half Asian men are raised in a world where Asian is synonymous with unattractive, and Asian women outmarry at rates higher than anyone else combined, so it only becomes natural that Half Asian men develop extremely racist, self-hating views where they pride themselves on being White, rather than Asian, because we have White fathers. The vast majority of Hapas do the same, and whether or not they admit they are racist, they still practice an extreme form of narcissism – using their own “looks” (which seldom are true) as a cover for their own fear of being seen as Asian. Essentially, the “hype” behind Half Asianness is merely a result of a tremendous desire to avoid being seen as Asian – which is the one race which everyone feels the right to ostracize and treat with utter contempt.
Other Half Asian men become more and more white worshipping, aggressively chasing White women in an attempt to prove that they are indeed better than White men, and also because they are repulsed by the low standards of Asian women. I have moments where I feel such a desire for white women as a way to just express a total and utter disassociation with WMAF, due to my unconscious disgust with it – in other words, the more I can find love in the arms of a White woman,
From a “cute” little Half Asian boy with light features, my hair and my features gradually grew more Asian, and I was wholly unprepared for racism, especially considering that much of this racism came from White men and Asian women themselves; having a racist white father and a Chinese mother who played favorites on her children (white was better and had more freedom; Asian looking – my brother – Tiger Mommed and treated different) – genuinely screwed me up.
They realize that Asian women produce sons who look like this:
These are some of the things that I, as a Eurasian did. Self-hatred, as an Asian person, is only natural, because Asians are unique compared to the rest of humanity in that they ardently dislike their appearance and attempt to base themselves on the appearance of whites – something that is impossible because of the vastly different coloring, skin texture and facial bones, as well as the proportions and texture of the body. Given that Asian women are unique among women of all races in that they outmarry at rates that are unmatched by anyone -black, white, Indian and Spanish, Asian women deliberately send the message that Whiteness and White men are better goals and that people of color – especially Asians, are beneath them, and so Asian women will literally join in in bashing Asian males – including Half Asian males – in order to more properly integrate and prove their “beauty” – which in fact is not beauty, but merely a fetish held by a minority of White men that are unable to secure a white partner.
I denied I was Asian for almost ten years and identified as Italian or Russian.
I cut my hair very short to retain its light color, up until two years ago; my hair becomes more brown when short, very, very dark at longer lengths and when wet
I would avoid looking at myself in the mirror after taking a shower because my hair would become black, and stand up straight, and strong, and bring out my Asian features
I did not look in the mirror for a three year period between 2012 and 2015
Gained sixty pounds in a summer to look less Asian – lost seventy pounds in one summer three years later, to again, look less Asian, based on different comments I was receiving at the time
I used to believe my mother gave birth via immaculate conception or divine intervention and that God ordained me to be white to fulfill a plan for divinated white supremacy
I would fantasize about using a razor blade to cut and deepen my eyes
I believe God had chosen me for my looks and I bought lottery tickets expecting to win, like Rodger.
I would vomit profusely after developing body dysmorphia as an attempt to cover up my Asian appearance; my vomit was colored unusually due to the large amount of supplements I was taking to maintain a weight that I thought would cover my Asian appearance
Plagued by nightmares for twenty five years about my mother crashing our car into a body of water before drowning. Dreams have ceased since writing this blog.
I screamed at an AMWW couple out of anger, after seeing one in a bar, again, like Rodger.
I would smack an Asian student in the face in an attempt to dominate him, out of insecurity
I made fun of a popular Asian student at my school anonymously and hurt his reputation to cover my own insecurity
I would sing fake Chinese songs in an attempt to impress my friends
I would write long winded emails to my father about how I though blue eyed and blond haired people were angels – after which he never bothered correcting me
I posted profusely on very hardcore Neo Nazi forums
I was a prolific author of insanely racist Neo Nazi cartoons
I had befriended a violent neo Nazi who went over my Facebook and criticized me for having too many friends of color and too many Asian female friends – my cousins.
On seeing a photograph where I looked Asian, I would immediately delete it and go into a dark depression
I never looked at photographs of my parents – either because I was ashamed of the fact that I was half Asian, or because WMAF made me subconsciously uncomfortable (likely the latter)
To this day I have not taken a photo since 2012 out of fear of looking too Asian.
More if I can remember. My fear is my pain will eventually dissipate and I’ll forget. I need to continue triggering myself to the point that I can effectively keep producing material that will help people.