What I noticed about “positive Hapas”.

I’ve come across two or three “positive” Hapas.

One was 6’3″ and looked non-Asian. Once again, he had no room to think about these things in his life. It was convenient for him not to.

The other looked distinctly Asian. He told me that he was very, very afraid of taking the same path as I did.

So in a sense, am I brave for realizing what and who these women are?

These women that instill in their own sons the values of white supremacy, that white men and only white men are capable of creating a life in them? And Asian men are simply left to die? So be it, then I will die with them.

And I put my life on my Asian female readers. Because of you – one of your own – one of your sons, will die.

Would you consider a woman who refuses to date a certain race, to be a good person?

Would you?

Like many Hapas, I too am considered good looking, intelligent, and charming.

I, however, am Asian. I am Asian. 

The existential nightmare of knowing that it was under such vile circumstances, that one life was denied, and another given to me, is too much to bear.

Most Hapas who are “proud” are white enough to be proud of it; so was I. At one point I was very proud of being Chinese without ever considering the ramifications of being a pure Chinese male. Therefore, I was at liberty to claim Chinese heritage without actually living with the weight of it on my shoulders, due to my physical appearance.

Yet even my small amount of blood was enough for me to be denied love – something so simple as that, and yet I, having been denied something as essential as that – am supposed to love my mother? To look on her fondly?

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