The cost of whiteness; and other thoughts 

Since the blog’s readership is increasing, I figured I would write a bit on some subjects for anyone interested; I think there are a bunch of full Asians reading this blog so I’ll leave some advice for them too.

On whiteness:

It’s obvious to me now that Asian women are willing to overlook monumental character flaws in order to achieve whiteness – through their kids. I don’t need to really elaborate on this since you can see it when going outside. My father is and was so far engrained in paleoconservative conspiracies that he left New York and his job, his 401k, because of his seething hatred of Jews and belief that the apocalypse was happening after 9/11.

Not to say that all white males are like this, but it definitely says something that Asian women so vastly prefer white men that they disregard the fact that Asian men have the highest income in the U.S.

My mom’s sisters (she has three) are all successful; one married and divorced from a tall white guy, and is now with another one and childless (I suspect this is because she saw how my brother and I turned out). The other two sisters married Asian men in their 20’s and now are very wealthy, with millions if not hundred millions.

My father is sleeping every night on the floor of a one bedroom apartment in the loft of a refurbished farm house in a rural town in one of the poorest states in the country.

And what benefit did it give me? Mental illness, cultural confusion, self hatred, exclusion from white social circles, exclusion from rising China, and exclusion from the same culture that I was raised to believe valued me for both my “hapaness” and my Chineseness. When I was younger I passed as white (and even in my 20’s took pride in it to an extreme – i.e., Stormfront membership) but the minute that I was recognized as Chinese I started spiraling into depression; I didn’t even look at photographs of myself and still don’t out of fear of looking Asian. Being used for my white face by family members – and then ten minutes later being told “you look Chinese,” was a pretty big source of strife in my life well until I was 24.

On Hapa life:

The entire shtick of being hapa is that Hapas are somehow wonderful, beautiful additions to the American tapestry. The reality is that America is extremely racist and Asian women get a pass from this because they can utilized their bodies to ensure survival. This isn’t anything different from the age-old conquest of cities and the assimiliation of the conquered women. (You can’t tell me that millions of Americans love to watch shows like Game of Thrones that involve human brutality then go about their lives pretending that that brutality exists in real life, on a daily basis; once again, the hypocrisy of Americans).

This would be a good idea if human beings were animals. Instead these Asian women are creating children who are expected to accept that Asian men are implicitly inferior and that it is perfectly normal for Asian women to prefer white men.

The entire premise of life, then, becomes stupid.

On the good Asian wife:

The “good” Asian woman stereotype, that my father bought into, is manufactured by Asian women to appeal to a higher class of men. They know they come off as higher value than white women and use it to secure higher quality sperm; after the child is born the marriage quickly becomes sexless and nagging and money based. Again, read my fucking blog to learn more about the marriage of my mother and father.

On struggle:

I suggest full Asians don’t really worry about this shit and just enjoy their lives. These women are creating essentially a fifth column in America (if the child himself isn’t cuckolded to the max like most Americans who slap around in sandals pretending “it’s all good”). It’s your parents fault for getting married and creating life that betrayed you; embrace antinatalism and problem solved. When I was at my lowest and within five minutes of killing myself (which you can see at the beginning of this blog), it was a gradual return to normalcy when I realized that at least I had fucking food to eat.

On the differences in types of AW/WM:

In Asia proper there are a number of Asian women who seek white males as a way to strike back at a culture they think has wronged them for their (poor) looks. (Some guy posted this video on reddit). My response:

What I do dislike is the actual good looking women who idealize western culture as a way to climb up in the world and / or fetishize tall white males for whatever reason (biological probbablly). To an extent, I personally think my mother was not attractive objectively, but I can understand how she would be “passable”. She wasn’t unattractive, maybe a 6/10. But she fetishized western culture very hard, and essentially because her father was abusive, she wound up with a white guy whose potential for success was muccccchhhhhh lower than the Asian men her sisters married.

There’s a lot of these girls with white boyfriends who use their boyfriends to increase status, like becoming youtube / youku stars, or using their kids for more views on Weibo, etc. I see decent looking girls with white guys sometimes, and they’re always either shopping, or making a very public display of their relationship. Even if the white male doesn’t admit it the relationship is still hinged on the fact that he is white, not on any personal growth or personal qualities. And after seeing this so many times is when a light went off in my head about my parents’ relationship and their dysfunctions became quite clear to me.

It’s funny because when you see women like that, the husband is rarely in the photograph (often stuck in a sexless marriage), with the child being shown off like an accessory. I was in a similar situation when I was young. Some of the photos are on my blog and in them you can see my father is essentially physically separated from my mother in all of the photos.

(I only posted a couple pics with faces blurred out because I don’t want to hurt my father).

23 thoughts on “The cost of whiteness; and other thoughts 

    • I was actually a prolific poster on VNNforum and started the website

      Case in point. Look at Marcus Epstein who is half Jewish half Korean. He knocked out an old black woman on the street. Elliot Rodger was extremely racist. Want to know why? Just look at the parents of these hapa kids.


      • I won’t bother trying to square you away. That’s your job. I just hope you’re making the right call hanging out with them. Though you have to be a REAL coon to post on a forum where all “mongrels” would be killed.


  1. Why are you surprised ? He is the end product of the trend of AF and WM who shame/blame bash men with asian physical traits as sexually genetically worthless and men with white physical traits as superior.

    Elliot Rodger was another example of a nutjob whose WF father and AF mother through their everyday covert /overt/ micro aggressions, verbal slights and sexual choices effectively demonstrate to these asian looking sons that ” white is right”.

    AF says to her WM bf “eewww I’d never date an asian man”
    White men mocks Asian men to her asian girlfriend ” AM all have baby dicks” and she gives tacit agreement.

    Of course the ultimate betrayal is those white cock worshiping asian female feminists who blame Eliot Rogders on “Asian patriarchy”.

    You AF morons. Elliot Rodgers was a white supremacists who tried to set up his AF mother with white men repeatedly and he learned his white supremacist from mostly his AF mother and WM father lol


    • Didn’t read all of it but yeah. The WMAW is based on the superiority of white males. So essentially the child sees his father as being his role model – not only in personality wise (conservative and racist politics etc) – but also in his race. He associates being white with being successful with women and so does everything he can to distance himself from his race.


  2. I am a white male, not chasing Asian females, I never abuse or discriminate against Asian males and never noticed other people doing it in my environment, therefore the subject of this blog should not concern me, but…

    …there is something in your writing that resonates with me deeply, and that is the feeling of being betrayed and let down by one’s parents. This I experienced myself. The consternation about the callousness of parents! For many years a gigantic hatred had grown in me, even today this feeling can sometimes be triggered.

    Today I am mostly at ease, because at last – very late in my life – my father gave in which enabled me to forgive him for now. But now I am worried about other children – I see them being “sold out” by their parents and I am desperate about the terrible future that awaits them. And I feel helpless about what to do for them.


    • Well my blog discusses racial issues but I realize I’ve apparently become more popular because of my philosophy on life and my “other work.” Which is essentially brutality, that life essentially is a mistake created by two selfish parents, that there is legitimately no one including ones own flesh and blood that is inherently unselfish, and that life essentially is about surviving at all costs in the midst of people doing the exact same.

      Not to toot my own horn.


      • Just an idea… As other people, centuries before us, had come realize… “To live is to suffer”and then deal with it in the way many Zen scholars, practitioners and teachers have.
        It’s what keeps many [me] functional and occasionally happy/content.


    • By the way, embrace antinatalism. It solves all problems. Essentially that’s what I worked towards but if you see my early writings they represent severe mental illness. I think recently I’ve begun to rationalize it.

      The point is that it took me way too long to do it. And considering my background of education and status I can only imagine what younger boys than me in similar situations will react.


  3. Why do you hate your mother so much, and not your father? Isn’t the white guy in these relationships the guilty party? Why is your dad not at fault….especially after you describe him as a good old-fashioned rascist?
    I wonder if you and r/hapas are just plain misogynists in diguise and just hate alll women rregardless of race.


    • I dislike them both. Unfortunately my father is the only one still living so I have to demonstrate a bit of empathy for him otherwise I’d probably guilt myself more than I could actually handle.

      I had lunch with him yesterday. It is difficult because everything he says becomes a conspiracy theory.


  4. Let me offer you some advice from a fellow Eurasian.
    As a man, you are the male lineage of your father, and his father.
    But you will belong to your mother’s people.
    Your father’s responsibility is to make you a virile, aggressive, confidant, skillful, wise man. If he failed at this, do it yourself. Do it yourself. Do it yourself.
    Your mother’s job, to be proud of your people, for that is your people.
    The failures you see in your life, rectify. As a man, I say again, you are your father’s MALE lineage. Associate with those men. But respect the people of your mother. This is a subtle difference. Wisdom comes from understanding this.

    There were plenty of successful (and still are) Eurasian societies. Look at the Russians. First men in space. If you are in an Asian society, compete against those Asian (beat them at chess, in art, in music, in sports) to prove you are the strongest male. That is how you humble Asian arrogance. In White societies, use your Asian intellect to beat them at chess, in art, in music, etc. That is how you humble theirs.

    Today is the day you START going to the gym, playing chess, and striving to be the best. It’s not the job of a man to worry about fitting in. That’s a woman’s job. It’s the job of a man to showcase his talent and make others admire him. Especially women. Then, you can have your choice of a woman. Today is the day, you stand up brothers, and be proud. Strive forth. No more whining.


    • This sounds like a massive cope for what is otherwise evidence for brute sexual selection that essentially renders your life meaningless.

      Why did your mother demand a white male?


      • Biculturalism is a fucking headache. I might post on that.

        It’s almost more of a headache when your dad is white because Chinese view ethnicity as being patrilineal but whites just view it as being you’re either full or not at all.

        Fuck my life.


      • There will always be the perspective of others to contend with.
        There are so many ridiculous ideas… Who can keep up with them all?
        You can always say,”So says you”–or–”Hey, I don’t give a good goddamn” or whatever you want to say. But you’re never forced you to accept or even care about their opinions, ideologies or perspectives.
        Sometimes it’s just noise.


  5. “he left New York and his job, his 401k, because of his seething hatred of Jews and belief that the apocalypse was happening after 9/11.”
    “The other two sisters married Asian men in their 20’s and now are very wealthy, with millions if not hundred millions.”
    “My father is sleeping every night on the floor of a one bedroom apartment in the loft of a refurbished farm house in a rural town in one of the poorest states in the country.”
    “It’s your parents fault for getting married and creating life that betrayed you; embrace antinatalism and problem solved. When I was at my lowest and within five minutes of killing myself”

    What kind of person makes this stuff up and then thinks of himself as an authority on being happa and the reality of intercultural marriages? Listen to the way you talk: exaggerated, one-sided, endless rants. You’re the last person anyone should listen to.


    • Herp da derp, a typical white male or Asian woman come in here posting…

      “I subconsciously know that Asian women prefer white males because white males are superior culturally, superior physically, have amazing privilege as a person, yet I expect my biracial children to have no problems.”

      Okay, carry on.


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