7 Things My Biracial Sons Will Be Asked Because They Look More Asian Than White

How many times did I call it? Asian women coast by on their privilege their whole life, avoiding Asian men and causing Asian men as much pain as possible…. when suddenly their sons are born Asian looking and so they go back on their hatred and start trying to instill pride in their sons…. whereas Hapa sons are literally cuckolded and deemed inferior as men ON BIRTH.

Knowing that it is very, very, very common for this to happen, I don’t really think I can ever forgive my mother and father for what they did, and they are essentially dead to me (my mother actually is dead).

This is proof of the mental trauma that Eurasian boys and young men go through during their developmental years – do not let anyone tell you otherwise.

subversive mommy

July 14, 2015: Disclaimer: I’m no expert, but I’m a mom and teacher operating in my spaces situated in history. I’m not here to invalidate anyone truly willing to dialogue with me, because:

1. I am a real person.

2. My sons are real people.

3. My politics are personal and the personal is political. There’s context.

4. I work and exist in many spaces: Asian American, Toisan, Chinese, immigrant, feminist, straight, LGTBQ, brown, black, liberal, even some conservative, mostly post-colonial and my most new spaces are white spaces. because life… but I am not a cultural relativist. Nor am I an Anglo-phile or an imperialist sympathizer. Nor do I hate my Asian American brothers. Accusations of that nature will not get the light of day on this blog post. (Nor do I hate being Chinese American or Asian American or Asian and want to infect my sons with internalized…

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19 thoughts on “7 Things My Biracial Sons Will Be Asked Because They Look More Asian Than White

  1. Dear Eurasian Writer:

    Thanks for re-blogging my post? I compelled to respond to your introduction to my piece.

    I’ll break it down for you here:

    Re:”avoiding Asian men and causing Asian men as much pain as possible…. ”

    As much as your crystal ball may tell you, I have never avoided Asian men (well maybe some…like ninjas) No, my brother, no. I only avoid cockroaches and bedbugs. Oh and reductionism.

    And to my limited knowledge of all the Asian men I’ve encountered in the most Asian city I know of, my hometown of San Francisco, the only pain I’ve caused in any Asian man (And I assume you mean Asian American?) is to my father. I was a B- average student all my life and I majored in Women’s Studies with a concentration in race, class and ethnicity in college, (Something you really seem to be an expert in!) not business or pre-med (since we’re on this reductionist tip right?)

    Re: “when suddenly their sons are born Asian looking and so they go back on their hatred and start trying to instill pride in their sons…. ”

    Suddenly my sons are born Asian looking! 50/50 chance right?! Shit! Well, I’ll be damned!

    Let me go back to the hatred I felt and knew so well…as a woman. The only person I hated with vitriol, my son, was myself. Not for being Asian American. No. I hated myself for being fat (for being short, for having a mole on my face, for having straight hair, for being a fetischized person) because I was young and racialized and poor.

    So yes, I know hatred, but again, you gotta get some Windex for that all-knowing crystal ball of yours.

    Re: “whereas Hapa sons are literally cuckolded and deemed inferior as men ON BIRTH.”

    I hear you, son. I hear you loud and clear; but now, YOU LISTEN:

    1. Stop. Do not ever troll a sister.
    2. Do not pervert my message–especially, without conferring with the me, the author.
    3. By subverting the thesis of my piece without my consent, you fetishize the “Asian woman.” You reduce her just as badly as the imagined or the real trope of the Asian hating, white loving Asian Woman you have attemp to deconstruct. Your short reductionist treatment of my purpose is just as potent as any colonial mentality I’ve ever experienced.
    4. Who knows how real or imagined this “truth” of a woman is to you, but, you just raped my message, bro.

    Intersectionally Yours,
    Subversive Mommy


    • Wrong. Asian American women I have encountered have nothing good to say about Asian men, and yes, actually refusing to date someone based on the color of their skin or their shape of their eyes (as I’m sure you’ve done, and many other Asian women you know especially in Brooklyn have done) is tantamount to depriving them of their humanity.

      The minute that happened to me – by Asian women nonetheless, women I thought I would have some solidarity with, I began to question my own mother’s marriage to a piece of shit racist white guy – I began to question my aunt’s dating history of ONLY white guys, I began to question my self-worth, seeing that asian women are with white men more than any other race of women.

      Now, lucky for you, your own son is going to experience the pain of being rejected for his race by women that look like his mother. They are never going to see men that look like them in the media, and the only thing they’ll see when they leave the house is Asian women throwing themselves at white men. So go ahead and teach him to be proud of being Asian, teach him to embrace Asian culture, but at the back of his mind he will question why it’s always Asian women with white men, it’s always Asian women with white men, it’s always Asian women with white men, it’s always Asian women with white men.

      Congratulations, you’ve now entered the world of the Hapa male.


      • I’m not trolling you either. My blog and StuffEurasiansLike and /r/Hapas are the highest ranked Hapa blogs / forums on the internet.

        Just pray your son never experiences the same pain you inflicted on Asian men your whole life.

        Just because you have kids now that look Asian doesn’t mean that all of the horrible things you’ve said and done in the past will go away.


      • Here’s a big phat ASIAN hug from me to your Eurasian self. I do that everyday with my Asian looking sons because I love me some Asian. HUGGGGGGGG. I have really short arms though. I should blame my mom for that too.


      • It doesn’t matter if you hug your son. Asian males (even Eurasians) are pretty keenly aware of the racism that Asian women are capable of… now your sons are going to be Asian men raised by a white father, knowing that Asian men are inherently undesirable and worthless in society, thanks to his own parents.


      • I don’t know how you guys deal with the hatred from Asian women. Seriously from a black woman’s point of you it doesn’t make any sense to me at all. Going off generalizations, Asian men tend to be successful, well educated and wealthy or at least well off (and very nice – always been nice to me) so the fact that in Brooklyn I also see 99% of Asian women with white men (I literally am shocked to see an actual Asian couple – my friends have noticed this too) – it bewilders me.

        I think to myself – if it’s REALLY love then it wouldn’t be so great in number..it would be rare since the overwhelming majority of people in a race stay inside their race. So I don’t believe it has to do with love.

        But then I think of black men. What’s funny to me is that black men don’t do a fraction of what Asian men do and yet black women have so much loyalty to them. And yet Asian men do so very much and Asian women backstab them.

        I caught a cute Asian guy staring at me on the train. I just got off the train and looked in and saw him. I smiled and he smiled back. Asian men should approach non Asian women more. We are definitely interested. In the carrbean black women and Asian men are great in number this is why I particularly don’t understand American culture that dictates Asian men are undesirable. I think they are gorgeous.
        At the end of the day when the babies of Asian women and white men come out looking Asian – what happens then? I have read comments from white men on this page a few years back talking about their half Asian children in disgust. And I have a feeling the Asian mothers we hoping for a euro looking child.

        See that’s the thing about us black women – no matter who we mix with we love our babies! Blasian babies or half white caramel babies. We love them. Because we love our husbands and ourselves. That’s what’s missing in the relationships you speak of in this blog.

        Ps. Asian men please approach non Asian women are if you are attracted to them. We ladies think you aren’t interested. It has nothing to do with American stereotypes against Asian men most times. You may hear it here or there but remember I’m a black woman – we hear our fair share of stereotypes but we keep going because of love.


    • Just wondering, how do you feel about being hated by Eurasians?

      I know a lot of Asian women who date white men openly expressed that they wanted to piss off Asian men, and reinforce the negative stereotypes of Asian male to get back at the fictional “asian patriachy” or something like that. And if an asian man talks about the WMAF problems, then he is considered to be racist (you people can always say this to defend yourselves).

      How do you feel about half Asian men(your own sons) also hate you?


      • Firstly, if any Eurasians or hapa straight man “hates me” one blog I wrote out of the few I’ve started to write, then I can’t help those poor mofos and that can really explain a few things about why folks don’t want to date them! Secondly, I’m willing to go to the table if folks are willing to break bread with me. I make a mean Chinese spare rib and anything ginger scallion. Thirdly, my sons love me because I’m hella nice to them, but they will learn to navigate an incredibly racist world–but this mommy is not racist–nor sexist–nor heterosexist–so please, I have no institutional powers, unless you consider being viewed as a fetishized and sexualized dragon woman as power. No, that would be sick.


      • Please don’t talk about being fetishized when your dating history was entirely white males.

        Being a Hapa has nothing to do with dating. It has to do with living with the humiliation of being Asian but born from an Asian woman and a white male, both of who have little respect for Asian men and little idea on how to raise Asian men properly in an incredibly racist world.


      • @subversivemommy:
        First of all, I wanted to say I have no problem with dating, weather it’s with asian women or white women. But I’ve experienced racism from WMAF way more than I experienced racism from average white people. The only ones who think they are superior to me are the Asian women who hates Asian men ( or maybe some white guy who dates asian women). I’ve experienced it ever since middle school, even though I was way more popular than those Asian girls, they still think they are above me for being Asian female, they are the type of girls who will always be in WMAF relationships.
        I just hate them, simple as that, no matter if they are pure asian or half asian, we all hate the self-hating asian women for thinking they are better than asian men. I don’t know if your son will be popular with girls or not, but if he is popular, he’ll hate you even more. If he doesn’t hate you, then he’ll be like Elliot Rodger, which one do you prefer?


  2. Her best hope is her son ends up resenting white worshipping, even though still mess, or else he’s going to be white worshipping like Elliot Rodger.


  3. @subversivemommy

    You’re an internalized racist. You just need to admit it. Start treating your own race with more respect. The white man has brainwashed you into believing that white is better, all other races are inferior.


    • How exactly will your sons ever be able to truly connect with their father? They look nothing like him and if anything will be reminded constantly of their inferiority since Asian women have a clear and marked preference for white males.


  4. This woman will have issues no doubt. Greatest karma is her own sons will hate her guts. This “white is right” mentality is a disease. Those Asian women with their “white is right” mentality are true promoter s of white supremacy and totally detrimental to all Asians worldwide. Whether they have any power or not, their own actions speak far louder with their daily promotion of white supremacy. Their future sons will pay for their actions.

    People need to stop as if WMAF is some kind of racial harmony. It is simply racism rearing its ugly head in the wide open. People need to be aware of this, which is why blogs like this one is completely necessary. If Asian men call these relationships out, they will simply be labelled as “racists”. When a hapa son, who has to live daily with parents like that, it is completely different.

    It is about time people call these promoters of white male supremacy out. In many ways, these self hating white is right Asian women are much much worse than those KKK white men. It is like having all these traitors who live among you whose sole purpose is out there to undermine everything you do. That’s what it is like to see these racist WMAF couples in the open.


  5. Hey LBH ! I do believe that you and that other hapa son SEDL singlehandedly started this movement to shine a spotlight on the racial dynamics of AW/WM!

    I clumsily left a response to subversive mommy’s article ( she appears to be so “hip” and “edgey”) which she callously censored ( probrably bc I was a lowly Asian man and so could easily be ignored unlike hapa sons lol)
    So I want to ask her again here to be recorded forever on the internet for future WM/AW hapa sons who will look more like the mother lol.

    Hi Subversive Mommy do you think that no matter how many Chinese language classes you make your sons take or how many times you take them to Chinatown to embrace their “culture” to instill some self esteem,
    your very actions in your youth of banging/ dating/ cock caruseling /marrying only men with non Asian features and effectively having a “no dogs and Asian men” sign for the men of your own race would your sons just how much worth they have in society?

    Do you agree that when your asian looking sons hit puberty and become interested in girls, when they inevitably notice and observe irl and online how the vast majority of asian woman like yourself consider asian looking men sexually worthless garbage in the dating/casual sex/ marriage world and openly mock them to non asians…that no matter how much you tell them ” girls like confident guys” … it would be like a smack in the face worse than any racial slur to see women who look like you think so lowly of men who look like your sons?

    It’s karma and a not so little sense of Schadenfreude to begin seeing the consequences of the actions of white fever asian females like subversive mommy who have thrown the men of their own race under the bus.

    Anyway thank you for the amazing work you’re doing LBH here and on hapas/ reddit on behalf of asian men and hapa men!


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