A man can take before he is pushed to the edge.

One side against my other.

I have been reduced into a shell of a man. I feel no empathy or emotions except sadness and terror.

Today I saw an American pawing his Chinese whore. The way he did it was a flagrant insult to the Chinese. I can’t help but wonder why my mother submitted to these people. My own mother. Others look at me as if I am better because of my European features – but god forbid I was my brother who would pass unnoticed as a Chinese.

I keep this diary for my thoughts. I am on the brink and need to compose my thoughts to let myself vent and let others know that my sanity is tenuous at best and that I am on the very edge of life and death.