Why do I feel this way?

Why do I feel ashamed to be Chinese?
Who taught me this pain and self hatred?
What kind of a woman can deny her own heritage, can say that all asian men are ugly and then pass this hatred onto their sons? How can you go out looking for a white man, as if only a white man is good enough, and then your son is supposed to think that is okay?

How can I go through life living like this? How can I look in the mirror and see something that is both wanted and unwanted?

I’m at the end of my rope. At least these guys who I see outside that are short and plain have their mind around to tell them that they are attractive and handsome, what do I have?

Honestly fuck these people that worship whites. Fuck that. I hope they burn in hell.

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